Stuff I’m Selling

Okay, co-workers, friends, and neighbors, only two weeks to go before I turn the keys to my apartment over to someone else. This is your chance to get some hot-ticket items while they still last. SALE! SALE! SALE! BUY NOW!! EVERYTHING MUST GO!!

Here’s what I’ve got if anyone’s interested:

Item: Laundry basket (w/handles)
Description: This sturdy Smurf-blue laundry basket is made of durable plastic.
Price: 5,000 won or best offer.


: Plastic container
Description: This no-nonsense container can be used to store any loose items that just don’t seem to have a  home anywhere else. If necessary, you could probably stash a dead body in here. Not that I know from experience, I’m just saying.
Price: 3,000 won or best offer


: Small table
Description: The Korean people use these tables to sit on the floor and have meals together. I used this one to sit in bed and check papers. Whatever works.
Price: 5,000 won or best offer


: Clothes rack
Description: It’s a rack. To hang clothes on.
Price: 3,000 won or best offer.


: Recliner
Description: This recliner, lifted from a teacher in my building who made a midnight run, is very sturdy and extremely comfortable. (This is the chair Kimchi and I fought over for more than a year.) Combine it with the plastic container and small table and you’ve got the perfect set-up for kicking your feet up and grading papers while you watch TV.
Price: 15,000 won or best offer


: Elliptical machine
Description: Have you ever had this problem? You want to work out but you don’t feel like going to the gym? This piece of home exercise equipment is the solution. I understand it also doubles as a pretty cool coat rack. (NOTE: the left pedal has a few bite marks from when a certain criminal ex-roommate of mine was cutting teeth, but it won’t affect your workout in the slightest.)
Price: SOLD!!


First come, first served.
Make me an offer I can’t refuse, kids.

About J. Wiltz

"Well, you know, there really isn't very much to say about me." - Andy Warhol
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