Good morning faithful readers. Once again it’s Saturday here in South Korea, and as I sit down to type this blog post I’m taking absolutely nothing for granted: the electricity, the air conditioning, the roof over my head, the refrigerator – all of these things are truly beautiful to me.
Last Saturday, you see, wasn’t quite this modern and comfortable. Why not? Because last Saturday was opening day for the annual Boryeong Mud Festival (“Mudfest”). Boryeong mud, if I understand this correctly, is supposed to have some sort of medicinal quality that makes your skin healthy and smooth. I can’t say for sure whether this is true or not, because I made a point of staying absolutely mud-free for the entire weekend.
I know, I know. It sounds like I was a major stick in the mud (wah wah wah). But it’s really not like that at all. I’m just a choose-your-own-adventure kind of guy, and I prefer adventures where I can stay clean.
Pool hall? – I’m there.
Drunken karaoke? I am legend.
Bowling alley? Let’s do it!
Live music? Bring it on!
Dive bar? All night long, babycakes!
Film festival? Sign me up!
Strip club? I’ve got a pocket full of singles ready to go.
Road trip? You won’t have to ask me twice.
Baseball game? Let’s sit in the cheap seats with beer and hot dogs!
Football game? Black and gold superbowl, bitches! Boxing match? Oh hellz yeah!
MMA? Let’s spring for good tickets so we can hear some bones snapping!
Cover myself in mud? Uh, no.
Cover myself in sand? I grew up two blocks away from a beach. I hated sand when I was a kid and I still hate it now.
Sit out in the blazing hot sun all day? No thanks. I’ll have plenty of time to burn when I’m in Hell.
Stand out in the rain, cheering with excitement? Why? I don’t stand around cheering in the shower. I mean, come on. Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “He doesn’t have the sense to come in out of the rain?”
Spend a whole weekend surrounded by white guys with dreadlocks and hippie chicks with suns tattooed around their belly buttons? Oh yeah, because that’s definitely my crowd. I went to the University of New Orleans for the company.
Yes, my time at Mudfest was a textbook example of what a person looks like when they are completely out of their element. But let the record show that I did go. And I did earn the rite of passage that is the Mudfest sunburn.
More importantly, I had a great time acting as a personal photographer for all of my wonderful friends and co-workers. They have a strange way of making everything seem worthwhile. (Awwwww….) 🙂